What is going on?  Snap out of it man.  I don’t usually talk to myself like this but tonight for some reason I can’t stop.  I’ve been walking around this stupid park for I don’t know how long.  It’s Late, Christmas Eve of all times.  I just can’t get her out of my mind.  I see an old man sitting on a bench.  He looks sad.  What the hell, I sit next to him.  He looks at me and I feel kind of stupid so I say “misery loves company right.”  He just looks at me with that “who are you and why are you sitting on my bench” look. I just smile and lean back, I’m tired anyway.  We just sit there for a while, both in our own thought.  Finally he leans forward and looks at me and says “what’s your trouble son?”  Looking at him for the first time I think I’m seeing a very senior Robert Duval, and I’m just waiting for him to ask me to cut the cards.  He gives me the I’m waiting stare and asks again, “what’s your trouble son?” Not knowing where this was going and not sure I am wanting to go there anyway, I simply say “life.”  Not expecting any grand reply, I don’t get one.  He simply gives me a small laugh.  He says, “life, son you don’t know the first thing about life.”  I think, “oh no, now here comes the how to be a man speech from Second Hand Lions.” Nope, all I get is another little laugh.  He looks at me real serious and says in a real quiet voice, “you’re not here to learn about life.”  Again, that little snicker of a laugh, which is kind of getting on my nerves at this point. He gets louder and says, “Your here to learn about love.”  I give him the international blow off look like he has no Idea what he’s talking about.  My eyes must have given me away because he said, “are you in love or have you lost it?” I think at this point it is better to just keep my mouth shut, so I just sit there.  “Lost it huh,” he says. “I can see it in your eyes, in the way you walk, yep you lost it.”  At this point I’m about ready to stand up and walk away.  He Says, “do you know what love is?”  I say, “of Course, do I look like an idiot.”  His curt reply was “yes.”  My jaw must have dropped to the ground and I got that I am going to kick me some Gus McCrea butt look in my eye.  He just chuckled.  He said in a real quiet voice, “did you ever tell her you loved her?” My immediate response was “yes.”  “I’m sure,” he said.  “When you were walking down the street did you ever hold her hand?  Not because you had too, just to hold it because you wanted to. At night did you whisper in her ear that you loved her, even if she was asleep. You fell in love and thought that was it. Everyone can fall in love.  But you see son, staying in love is a choice.” Getting louder he continues, “you don’t just choose once.  You don’t choose twice.  Every day, Every day you make a choice, do I love her or not.  What choice did you make?  There are no days off, no vacation, and no free pass days.  Did you love her like there was no tomorrow?”  Getting really loud now he says, “If you died today would there be any doubt, any doubt at all, that you loved her?”  He sighs, “So when I asked did you tell her you loved her?” Quieter now he says, “did you?” At this point I am at a loss for words,  so I say “I guess.”  “Not good enough,” he says. “Did you treat her like your most valuable treasure?  Would you travel to the end of the earth to find her?  Did the thought of losing her take your breath away?” Quietly he said, “did you follow her out the door when she left?”  “No,” I said.  “Didn’t think so,” he said.  “So where does that leave us.    How long ago did she go?” Softly I say “a year.”  “Been Looking for anything else” he asks.  “No,” I reply.  “Can I give you a piece of advice?” He asks.  I say, “sure,” it’s not like my answers have stopped him yet.  “Do you really believe that the love of your life is out there?” He asks.  “I don’t know,” I reply. “That person will never see you if you don’t believe they are there.” He says.   Not following I give my best, I don’t know what you are talking about look. “thick headed mule,” he says, “you will never find what you do not believe exists.  If it doesn’t exist up there, you will never see it out here, and they will never see you.  Believe in love son, and it will find you.  Then it will be up to you to choose to stay in love.”  “I get it,” I say.  “So what makes you the resident expert of the park bench on love?”  He gets real quiet and finally says, “I have loved one woman in my life. There was not a day that went by that I did not tell her I loved her.  Every chance I had I would let her know.  It was not always words.  I might just touch her to let her know I was there.  Smile at her so she knew I cared.  Hold her when she was sad.  Laugh with her when the time was right.  Kiss her always, no matter who was there.   Wait on her when she was late.  Hug her everywhere.  Carry her when she was down.  Walk with her when she could not run.  Feed her when she could not feed herself….Just love her always.”  “So where is she now,” I Ask.  He replies, “she’s on her way to pick me up.  I better get going.”  With that he gets up and starts slowly walking down the path.  I look down at my hands for a second to ponder what I just heard and remembered I never thanked him.  I look up to find him and he is gone.  There is no one around, it’s like he just disappeared.  I turn around real fast because I’m positive I heard someone say “cut the cards, what a Mule head.”