The sound it makes as it flows so fast past your ear, the whistle,  the whisper, the roar not of how fast it is moving but the sound as it is slowed down, so slow you can’t understand what it means, what it is trying to tell you, the boom, so low and slow that it is just vibrations rattling though your soul.  It is the whisper that providence is in motion.  Time is an illusion.  It is what it is, not what aught to be.

I want to thank you all for you patients as you have waited for me to tell you what is going on.  It has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, back and forths,  and side to sides.  It seems forever ago that I told you that we were heading to MD Andersen.  Blood clots, pneumonia, hoping for a plane ride.  As it turned out we found what would keep Tammy from going.  In usual Tammy fashion she now had a goal.  It was a plane sitting on a runway to get her to Houston.  The doctors were finally getting the pain tolerable and she was getting more movement in her leg.  She was winding up her engine that says I will not be beat.  I will get there.

Tuesday morning as she was trying to move up in bed she heard a loud pop.  After an x-ray it was determined that she had a pathological fracture of he left humorous.  She was in a lot of pain.  Once again the doctor set out to get her pain under control.  At that point we had to start with the hard decisions.  Are we going to MD?

After some very big questions had to be asked and answered she decided that she was not going to try and get to Houston.  Pain management went in a different direction.  A pain pump was brought in and as her bone started to heal what it could, and the pain medicine started to work better, she slowly started to come back to us.

Sunday her comment was that this is the best I have felt in a month.  Tammy can attract a crowd and she spent all day Sunday with friends and family.  We can always tell when she is feeling better.  We all chuckle as drillmaster/coach Mom starts to take charge.  We all went to sleep with a positive thoughts.

Early Monday morning the tide changed.  She woke up with a big headache, nausea, and vomiting.  The nurses were able to get her settled down after a time and she has been sleeping all day.  No one knows what is actually going on.  Speculation is that there is a tumor in her brain that is causing problems.  At this point surgery is out of the question because of the risks for everyone involved.  She is resting comfortably and as much as we can tell her pain is tolerable.

I have a few thoughts that keep flashing through my head as I try to get through this update.  The first is miracles, the second is gratitude, and the third is sunshine.

No matter what happens Tammy is a miracle.  Six and a half years ago no one would bet a penny that I could kiss her on the forehead last night.  I did kiss her on the forehead and I am grateful that I could.

I am grateful for everyone around me.  Which is a very big circle that includes all of you.  The last two weeks has been chocked full of really, really hard decisions.  I have had to lean on some very special people to get through them all.  I am humbled by their generosity, caring, and love.

As I close this I want you to have sunshine on your brain.  I want your thoughts to be about Tammy snapping her fingers to know which way was right and which way was left because she could only snap one of them.  I want you to remember her stomping her foot in the coaches box because that is what good coaches do.  I want you to remember that day that no one else believed in you, but Tammy did.  I want you to remember that day that she touched you with her ray of sunshine,

and then I want you to go out into your day and touch some else with it.