Every one has left and said there good lucks and we will see you in a few hours. I have a few minutes to sit and contemplate everything before I go under the knife. It’s just a simple (so they say) procedure but for some reason I feel the terror of the what ifs. I know they probably will not happen and I will be fine, but there is always that chance. As I am choking down my fear and trying to summon my courage I am suddenly transported back into time and a memory of a wonderful old man I loved to call, Grandpa.
I remember fondly sitting in the dentist’s chair waiting to get my first tooth pulled. I can’t remember why Grandpa was there with me but he was. I was nervous and scared. As people who know us well usually do, Grandpa could tell that I was on the verge of falling apart. Grandpa slowly got up from his chair across the room and ambled over to the dentist’s chair on wheels and sat down and wheeled him self over beside me.
He Said, “Do you know how to measure how cold it is?”
Through tear swelled eyes I said, “a thermometer.”
“Nope,” he says, “a thermometer only measures how much heat there is. As a mater of fact there is no way to measure how cold something is.”
I distinctly remember my young brain thinking, “what in the world is he talking about,” but I just sat there wallowing in fear and getting more anxious by the second.
After a few minutes he leans forward again and says, “do you know what absolute zero is?”
I think he has fallen off his rocker or at least he is the squeaky wheel on the dentist’s chair but non the less I simply shake my head no.
He smiles at me and says, “absolute zero is the absence of all heat, It is the coldest temperature that we can record because all of the heat is gone. There is none, zero. That means for all relevant purposes it is dead.”
Okay, we are talking about death now. What in the heck is going on Grandpa. As my tears start to well over and the dam is about to burst, He grabs my hand and softens his eyes.
“You know,” he says, “fear is kind of like cold. We don’t measure fear because fear really doesn’t exist. ” He touches my head and continues. “fear is something that we create up here when there is an absence of courage, Do you know what courage is?”
I slowly nod my head yes and he continues.
“Good, The great thing about courage is that it is just like heat, It is always there. All we have to do is stop making up the fear and grab hold of the courage that is already in us. We will always have courage unless we reach absolute zero. So that means that as long as we are alive we will always have courage. So as you sit here getting ready for the dentist to come in start thinking about the heat instead of the cold. Gather what courage you have and build on it. It just like in the old days when we used to rub sticks together to make a fire to stay warm. You gather your courage and you keep rubbing it together until you have a roaring fire inside of you.”
He pats me on the hand and says, “I love you, now you get to rubbing,” and gets up and goes back to his chair.
I come back to reality with a smile on my face. I probably didn’t understand everything he was saying all those years ago. but it did leave a lasting impression of my life. As I lay back and close my eyes I start rubbing my courage together and know that everything will be alright.