“As we all reach the top we gather around and bask in the warmth of the light. We join together and give thanks that we have made it through another valley. That we have traveled through the darkness once again and have overcome. As we set out once again across another plateau to gather our burdens we also gather the light. Yes, I am weary, but with each burden I gather I leave light in its place. That is what I am made for, it is my destiny. I am Dolor Congreget, but also Formans Lucem, a giver of light.”

So here we are again. Another two months have flown by. Its been busy for sure. Since our last chat, Tanner and the boys basketball team took third in state. I now officially have a college freshman, and I have two girls that have qualified for state in softball and track, and a baseball team that was just a breath away from being there also. If you can’t tell I am a very proud daddy. Tammy and I have so many blessings to be thankful for. We have so much to look forward too. Right now we are basking in the warmth of so much light.

We traveled down to Houston early Wednesday morning. Real early, our flight was out of Wichita at 6:10 am. Luckily for me Tammy has been waking up around three in the morning for some reason so we hit the road at a reasonable time. It was a long day of testing for Tammy and then a very long night for both of us. Neither one of us had any idea what to expect at her doctor’s appointment Thursday morning. We knew that her CEA had been fluctuating up and down since she stopped the clinical trial, and that since the start of the clinical trial we had now started talking about growth rates. If we were talking about the growth rate of my IRA I might be excited, but with cancer, not so much. So with nerve endings tingling we head into our little room with our emotions on our sleeves and our hearts in our throats. We really didn’t have to wait very long for the Doctor to come in, which in my mind gave us two options really good, or really bad. So as the Doctor settles in I try to swallow down my anxiety and hear what he has to say. “Your CEA is down and you look stable.” (Deep breath) Ok, it’s good. In our world you have three options with cancer cells. They are either decreasing, stable, or growing. The first two are good, the last one is not good. After being in the not good category for about six months it was definitely good to be in the good category again. She will stay on Lonsurf for another two cycles. Each cycle is a month, so we will head back to Houston about the first of August and check things out again. Tammy is excited because she has felt reasonably well on this chemo and is looking forward to a good summer of baseball, softball, basketball, volleyball, some golf for Tucker and hopefully some lazy days at the swimming pool gathering more warmth and love from friends and relatives.

“As we set out once again across another plateau to gather our burdens we also gather the light.”