January 2015 Update for Tammy

Hi everyone, just a little update on Tammy as I’m sure word has started to spread about whats going on with her.  She has been struggling with some issues and been in some pretty substantial pain for a couple of months and she has been trying to get some answers.  We met with an OB in Wichita who has a specialty in oncology last Thursday.  Today we met with a surgeon down in Wichita.  The consensus from both of them was that Tammy needed a colostomy.  This might sound like not a good thing, but we are actually really excited and can’t wait for this to happen.  We are hopeful that this will solve a lot of issues that Tammy has been enduring for quite some time and vastly improve her quality of life.  We are hoping to retire the phrase “coming in hot” from our family vocabulary.

She will have to be off all Chemo for a total of 10 weeks, that scares us, but overall we know that this is the best for her and her quality of life.  One of the drugs that she is on is avastin which really affects how the body heals,  the surgeon will not touch he for at least five weeks after stopping avastin.  The drug irrenotecan really affects her white blood count and they want her to have all the white blood cells she can to combat infection.  This is a major surgery, (we were informed that any surgery on her is major) she will more than likely spend a week in the hospital and will more than likely be down for four to six weeks after.

Once she is recovered we will meet with oncology doctors and figure out where we are with cancer.  Since her stage four diagnosis, she has never fully stopped chemo so we have no clue what to expect as far as how the cancer will react.  Please keep her in your prayers as we walk down this new road.  If you happen to see her out and about, you have my permission to stop and give her a great big hug.  I’m lucky I can get one from her whenever I want one.  Thank you for all the continued thoughts and prayers.  We are truly blessed in this life with everyone around us.

Her surgery is Scheduled for February 16 at 2:30 pm

Full Of Life

“I must challenge yophilosopheru Zotikos(Greek). If what you say is true then I have no choice but to climb to the tops of mountains and slay dragons. I must spin circles and chase the tails of squirrels. It seems that I am not living unless I have drunk my fill of Ouzo and danced on stones until my feet have become numb, my head is spinning, and my stomach has wretched.
     Oh Zotikos I must challenge you indeed. Some may call you “full of life,” but I must question your belief of what that means. When we are old men what stories shall we tell. Oh the conquests you have undertaken. What glory you have seen. The gold in your pocket must be heavy. I must ask you though, you are full of life but has your life been full. I question if it was a race to the top of the mountain or if it was a race away from something. As you ran your circles was it because you were chasing something within yourself. As you guzzled your Ouzo were you not running from your true feelings and hiding from what it really is to have a full life. Zotikos, full of life, what is to become of you when the fire has dimmed.
     I too have traveled far and done many things. I challenge you now for I have ran away and I have been lost. I have tried to see life through my cups and drink until I felt nothing but the emptiness of my gut. I have tried to live life to its fullest and found that I had not lived at all. You can not truly live unless you are prepared to live it all, eyes open, standing straight, and feeling every stone that has been hurled and every kiss that has been bestowed. My dear friend Zotikos, hear me now for what I speak is truth. If you truly want to live then stand before life and let it happen. If you are merry then let it radiate through your soul and smile upon everyone and everything around you. If you have sorrow then accept it, feel it, consume it and then move on. You can not chase happiness any more that you can run away from sadness. To live we must feel everything. We can not mask our fear with courage and we can not drink ourselves happy if we are sad. Life is about feeling my friend. It is about the softness of the skin on you lover neck just as much as it is about the heartache of when she is gone. It is the happiness of finding what you are searching for and the defeat of it not matching your expectations of what it should be. To live life to its fullest we must be willing to feel what is good in our world, but also shed tears for all that is wrong. I ask of you my dear friend to pull your mask away and see everything that is around you. If you want to grab the bull by the horns then simply stop hiding from what is around you. If you need some excitement find your reflection and feel what is staring back at you. If you want to live life to the extreme then simply feel every emotion that grabs a hold of your soul and consume it. Live, my old friend, live a full life.”